He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
