I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
