Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
