Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
