Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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