Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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