It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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