yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.â€
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