i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
