I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
