weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He passed out mid-signature
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize