I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just tell him i said nine months
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
