on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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