she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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