I seem to have left my pride at pride
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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