I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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