It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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