I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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