I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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