the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize