i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
