My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
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