people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
