I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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