i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
