his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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