using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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