omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize