Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
they're staring at me
I need to stop coming to work sober
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I am one with the molecules
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!