I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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