Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
