My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
