Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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