how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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