So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
