i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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