We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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