Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
