i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i think im in europe. pls send help
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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