Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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