at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Barsexuality is the new black.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
