I wish I only lived at night.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
