I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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