You can't special order awesome
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize