I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
