Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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