Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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