so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
