i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If I die, sorry about rent.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
