who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
