its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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