I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize