All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
