I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
