i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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