I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
