i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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