Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
