ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
that's an acceptable place to lick
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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