only if we run a train.
done.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
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Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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