Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
