I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize