I'm jealous of your bromance
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
