Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
